Contrary to the mechanized caricatures populating Magic Kingdom dark rides, Christ and his companions remained fixed and uniformly rigid.  I kept waiting for disarming banter or a comforting song to advance the illusion – or at least break the monotony – but Christus Gardens was no Country Bear Jamboree.  It was not a value brand surrogate for corporate magic, nor was it trying to be. Christ was under no obligation to authenticate my experience by cavorting around the Holy Land with his disciples like a pack of animatronic bandits designed to chase barmaids.